My head spins

My head spins
What is it all? It's a funny question. But Why? We talk… About what? Why? Does it mean anything? Music, TV, food, clothes, books… Why? What for?
My head spins
Pointless conversation, pointless conversations, pointless television shows, pointless songs, pointless clothes, pointless books, pointless meals… Pointless. Meaningless.
My head spins
763 words… that's all it took. 763 words made me question the point of things… Why? Why am I alive? I feel alive… But why? There is no point… No meaning… Dead.
My head spins
The ink touches the paper. It stays. It forms words. Why? Why do these words mean anything? Do they mean anything? They're just marks. Marks on a page…
My head spins
Noise. I hear words. I hear music and words together. Words, noise, pictures, smells, textures. Do they have meaning? Are they pointless?
My head spins
My eye hurts, my hands shake, my head spins
Words, words, words. Noise, touch, image, words, taste… The floor seems to move. Why floors? Why tile? Why dirt? Why color? Why?
My head spins
These words… Why? Why these words? What will these words do? Meaning… Too many words, too much image, too much taste, too much feeling, too much smell. Too much
My head spins
I close my eyes. Black. Darkness. Noise. Touch. Taste. Smell.
My head spins
Pointless words, pointless phrases, pointless pages, pointless notebook, pointless pen, pointless hand, pointless arm, pointless body, pointless soul, pointless person… Pointless me.
My head spins.
I stop writing. I look up. I close my eyes. I listen. I ignore the noise. I listen for the silence. I begin to hear it. In the silence there is a voice, a silent voice. It speaks with clarity. As I listen, I become calm. I breathe deep. I hear him now. My worries slip. My stress fades. The spinning slows. I start to free myself. I let go. The shame leaves. He takes it. He takes all of it. It is going, slipping away. It's off my back and it's gone. I am clean, light, free. My skin tingles. All of what he took away is replaced by his love. I feel it running over my tired broken soul. His love pours over in me. Like a warm breeze, his love covers my body. I breathe deep. I am tired from the things that I carried, but now they are gone. I came to him and he took everything. He is all I want. Deep breath. His love keeps overflowing in my soul. He loves me. His love makes me beautiful. I am loved. There is peace, complete peace. Now I rest my head on my pillow. My eyes close. I listen to his beautiful, silent, wordless, love song. My soul calms, my thoughts rest, my emotions sleep, and the spinning stops. Everything stops except for his love. Love. Everything fades. His love moves through me. I sleep.